In my writers’ group last week we were asked to write 450-500 words on the topic of  “on the brink”.

I wrote this poem.  Hope it makes you smile!


I nearly wasn’t born at all

That’s what my mother said

I was coming out the wrong way round

By the feet and not the head

She was on the brink of having a Caesar

But pushed me out instead.


I studied hard at uni

It didn’t come easy to me

I was sure I’d get a distinction

Or at least an A or B

But when I finally got the result

I found I’d got a C

I was on the brink of such success

But they had it in for me.


She was the loveliest girl

I’d ever met

Will you marry me, I said

But then at the church

She left me in the lurch

And married the best man instead.


I was crossing the road as usual

On my way into town

A lorry appeared out of nowhere

And nearly ran me down

I suppose I should have been looking up

Instead of on my phone

Better be late than “the late”

Said my dad when I got home.


I made a mess of my driving test

It was only a small mistake

I went the wrong way

on a roundabout

So the examiner used the brake.


I have a mate who’s done so well

He’s making loads of money

He offered me a job with him

I laughed, said don’t be funny

It turns out he wasn’t joking

And asked another mate instead

Now they’re raking it all in

Have second homes on the Med

I could have been a contender

That’s what my in-laws said

Nothing good ever happens to me

I might as well stay in bed.


We’d saved up for a holiday

It was the first for years

My wife had begged to go away

She ended up in tears

So we booked a flight to Ibiza

And were waiting in the hall

When I had to pop out to take a pee

And so we missed the call

My wife has never forgiven me

And won’t talk to me at all.


I do the lottery now and then

My numbers never win

And then last Saturday

I came close

The closest I’ve ever been

My wife came downstairs running

I gave out such a shout

I was on the brink of winning

But just one number out.


I was at the doctor’s getting my vaccine shot

The receptionist called my name

I wasn’t sure if I’d heard her or not

It didn’t sound the same

And now I’ve lost my place in the queue

And will have to go again!


My computer keeps playing up

It crashes out of the blue

I’ve lost a dozen manuscripts

And now this poem —


© Andrea Neidle, My Life in Poems


  1. I have just read these and loved them. I am really impressed that you can write so much. I have just finished a series of poems that took months. Perhaps it’s a question of practise. Like yours, some of mine are in the voice of the opposite sex, but I found that quite difficult to do.

    Liked by 1 person

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